When I was a little girl, I was in the Girl Scouts. As cookie entrepreneurs , we managed to make enough money to go to a Dude Ranch. The troop and I were all spoiled little rich girls from the suburbs, most of whom had never seen a horse except on a TV screen or a bad Toby Maguire movie. Since we had no experience with anything bigger than a neutered Golden Retriever, we expected nothing but the best.
The day came that we went to the ranch. Things were going smoothly, and soon enough, it was time to ride the horses. We could barely contain our giddy prepubescent excitement. Before we went riding, we got to stare longingly at all the horses in anticipation. The animals were timid, obedient creatures, but one of the horses stood out from the rest. It was a majestic white horse with a long alabaster mane, powerful legs, and a softly graceful gait. Every girl was absolutely dying to ride it. We all imagined it would be like roaming the woods on a unicorn.
Fortunately, the staff was savvy enough to assign horses randomly, lest a troop of Girl Scouts start fighting to the death over a horse using the skills we learned in Tae Kwon Do camp. One girl was lucky enough to be chosen to ride the white horse. All the other girls were so jealous, but there was nothing they could do about it. So we mounted our horses and began to ride onto a path through the forest.
Almost immediately after leaving the campsite, the white horse revealed its true colors . . . which must have been brown because it wouldn't stop farting and pooping everywhere. The girl on the white horse was mortified and couldn’t say anything. All the other girls put on a smile of relief, acting like they knew in advance its fatal flaw even though they were all begging to ride that horse only minutes before.
So always remember:
Be careful what you wish for....
Because it might start farting and pooping everywhere.
